HW 42 - Pregnancy & birth culminating project

Why do people decide to have children?

The answer to this question may seem simple, especially when thought about in evolutionary terms: People have children in order to pass on their genes. This is the case for most species, and for these species, it is not something they have to make a decision about. However, thanks to birth control, humans have a choice in the matter, and are in fact the only creatures on earth that have this choice.

While most people still choose to have children, there is a growing group of adults who are to put off having kids, or forgoing the idea all together. It seems as though they have decided that there are more reasons not to have kids then to have them. This change seems to have to do with shifts in social norms; it is more acceptable to not have a child now then it was fifty or sixty years ago.

A New York Times article suggests that the growing number of people who choose to have children later in their lives is indicative of a larger cultural shift wherein young adults take longer to grow up, putting off having children, and viewing marriage and parenthood “as lifestyle choices” as opposed to “pre-requisites for adulthood”. The article points to a 2003 U.S. Census study, which found that 19% of U.S. women age 40–44 did not have children (compared with 10% in 1976).

Choosing to have a child later in life is mostly viewed as respectable, since many women choose this in order to get an education, or advance in a job. However, people choosing not to have children at all suggest that there are actually many reasons to make this choice. Many women think having children is a waste of the planet's resources (contributes to overpopulation), or a waste of their time (they think they could do more for humanity on their own then they could by having a child).

Or they’re a waste of money. While most western countries offer new parents paid maternity/paternity leave (up to 50 weeks in Canada) and health care coverage, the United States only offers twelve weeks of unpaid maternity/paternity leave (and that’s if you have worked for a covered employer for at least 1,250 hours over the previous 12 months, among other restrictions). While other countries also have “baby bonuses” – money given to new parents to help them raise a child – the US offers little support to new parents. 

Research suggests that being a parent may not even make someone happy, as people are led to believe. A Newsweek article from 2008 (“Does Having Children Make You Happy?”) suggests that non-parents are actually happier than parents:

          The most recent comprehensive study on the emotional state of those with kids shows us that the term "bundle of joy" may not be the most accurate way to describe our offspring. "Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers," says Florida State University's Robin Simon, a sociology professor who's conducted several recent parenting studies, the most thorough of which came out in 2005 and looked at data gathered from 13,000 Americans by the National Survey of Families and Households. "In fact, no group of parents—married, single, step or even empty nest—reported significantly greater emotional well-being than people who never had children. It's such a counterintuitive finding because we have these cultural beliefs that children are the key to happiness and a healthy life, and they're not."

For various reasons, more and more people are choosing not to have kids. Terms often used to describe these individuals are childfree, or childless by choice. There is actually an international social club called No Kidding!, which was created for people who have never had children, no matter what the reason (this means it would include people who weren’t physically able to have children). The intent of No Kidding! is to give adults a place to talk to other adults about things other than raising children, and to take part in activities or events held by the club (concerts, hiking trips, etc).

Even though more and more people are choosing to put off or forgo having kids, many people still do. Why?

Obviously, many people choose to have kids because it is simply what is done when one reaches a certain point in their life. Many people think it will bring them happiness and joy that they might not otherwise have.

However, there might be deeper biological reasons women want to have kids. An article by Corrie Pikul published in Elle about why and when women choose to have children suggests that when women reach a certain age (around their 30s), they have a greater motivation to have kids. The article quotes Warren Miller, a psychiatrist at the Transnational Family Research Institute who has spent 40 years researching why women get pregnant, as having said: “The childbearing urge is an element of the “nurturant bonding system”. It’s an adaptive urge to raise love, and care for a needier being then ourselves – nature’s plan for ensuring that we take care of the children we produce.” This implies that there is another aspect to wanting to have kids – wanting to take care of someone.

Anna Rotkirch, the director of the Population Research Institute at the Family Federation in Finland, has conducted extensive research on these urges. She analyzed the stories of 106 women who wrote to her about their experience with “baby fever” – the compelling urge to have a child, to constantly be thinking about it. One woman described the “painful need to be pregnant” and added “if someone had earlier tried to describe such a feeling to me, I would have rolled my eyes and encouraged her to get a life”, implying that “baby fever” a feeling that is impossible to imagine unless you have it. The source of these urges has not yet been established.

It is also important to remember that many people don’t have extreme urges to have kids, but want them all the same. It might not even be because “it’s the normal thing to do” – they might just want to have a child because they like children.

WORKS CITED:

"Does Having Children Make You Happy?." Newsweek 28 JUN 2008. Web. 31 Mar 2011. <http://www.newsweek.com/2008/06/28/having-kids-makes-you-happy.html>.

Pikul, Corrie. "The Clock-Watcher: How do you know when - or if - you should have a baby?." Elle Magazine. Feb. 2011: 164-166. Print.

Courtenay-Smith, Natasha, and Morag Turner. "Meet the Women Who Won't Have Babies - Because they're not eco friendly." dailymail.co.uk 21 NOV 2007. Web. 31 Mar 2011. <http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-495495/Meet-women-wont-babies--theyre-eco-friendly.html>.

http://www.nokidding.net/about.html

United States. Family and Medical Leave Act. , 1993. Web. 4 Apr 2011. <http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/index.htm>.

Cohen, Patricia. "Long Road to Adulthood Is Growing Even Longer." New York Times, 12 JUN 2010. Web. 3 Apr 2011. <http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/13/us/13generations.html?_r=3>.

Canada. Employment Insurance (EI) and maternity, parental and sickness benefits. , Web. 3 Apr 2011. <http://142.236.154.112/eng/ei/types/special.shtml#How>.