HW 58 - Prom Interviews

I interviewed three people: E (who has not been to prom yet but is going this year), L (who went to four different proms when she was in high school), and my mother (who went to her junior prom). 

E is going with a friend. She thinks that prom doesn't seem to be as big a deal in New York City as it is in the suburbs. "The culture is different," she said. "It's not so much about boyfriends and girlfriends. This might be because in other places people couple up and take limos, so you might feel awkward if you're the only one without a date, but here we can just go on the subway." She said she was looking forward to going and seeing everyone dressed up, even if going did involve taking a lot of pictures and "cheesy dancing". She also thought that prom would give more of a sense of community than other school events, because most people go, and everyone sort of plans for it together. She also said that while she didn't think prom was exactly a 'rite of passage', she still thought it was a good thing to experience - "everyone has their prom story."

This interview got at aspect of prom people have brought up in class - the fact that prom is different here than it would be other places. Several people have mentioned that at SoF, prom isn't really a big deal, especially considering it almost didn't happen. I thought this might be because here, people usually have other stuff going on besides school, and it isn't where they spend all their time, whereas someone at a high school in a more suburban or rural area might be more involved. I also noticed how E said that everyone has their prom story. This conjured to my mind a time one of my friends said something similar about the SAT, that no matter who you are, you have to suffer through it. While originally it annoyed me that prom seems to be the exact same night everywhere, it is something that most people can tell a story about - it's something that people can bond over. There aren't many experiences like that, that almost anyone can say they had. 

L said: 

"I went four times (to junior prom in 9th and 10th grade, senior prom in 11th grade, and to a friend's senior prom in 11th grade). It was always sort of awkward. One time I got a dress and I found out a senior girl had bought the same one, so I exchanged it for another one only to arrive to see someone else wearing that one too. I think it's funny how now people have Facebook groups where they post what dress they bought so that that doesn't happen. The last prom I went to, which wasn't at my school, was the one I liked the most because there was less stress, since I didn't know everyone there. Also, we went bowling afterward, which I thought was cool, because at my dad's high school the Italian kids would go to prom and the Jewish kids would go bowling, and I got to do both. The only regret I have is that I didn’t go to my senior prom. I think that prom is mean to be a celebration, but people spend too much money on it, and there's too much planning involved. I also don't like that people worry so much about where to go afterwards, because that shouldn't be the most important part of it - it should be about getting to see everyone you know one last time, a celebration for everyone graduating."   

I thought it was interesting that she said when she went to her friend's prom, it was less stressful, because she didn't know anyone. This highlights the pressure people are under to have a perfect night, to look and act a certain way (as does the whole prom dress thing). I guess if you don't know anyone there, some of the stress might be taken off because nothing is expected from you. Her opinion that people worry too much about prom reinforced my original thought on the subject, which was that people shouldn't take it as seriously as they do, it should just be another part of graduating. 

And my mom said: 

"I went to my junior prom, but not my senior prom. The theme was 'Stairway to Heaven'. People didn't have after-prom stuff, since in the neighborhood I lived in parents were very strict and wanted to know where their kids were at all times. I also don't think it was as elaborate as what people do today - it was in our high school gym, and people just went in their cars, not limos. Most kids had jobs, and if they were going to prom, the money for it would have been their own. It just wasn't as big a deal as it is now, it was just a night to have fun."

Since my mom's prom was a while ago,  I thought maybe this was why it wasn't as "planned". It seems like putting a lot of effort into planning for prom was a fairly recent thing, perhaps the result of all the 80s and 90s movies that seemed to glamourize prom. It would make sense that this glorification of prom started then, because this was also when teenagers started being a more visible part of society. They were also another group of consumers, and a group with a lot of money, so it was a good move to sell them the idea of prom, a night where if you have the right dress and shoes you can be a princess. 


Overall the interviews showed me that not everyone is enamored with the idea of prom, and not everyone thinks it is a 'rite of passage'. While they all assured me that it was not to be missed ("go, even if you think it's lame"), no one seemed to have had the romantic movie version of it either - it was just a night with friends. While originally I disliked the fact that prom seems like something people are forced into doing, and they go because they feel like they have to, I now sort of like that it's something most people have in common. I like the idea that I could one day be in a room full of people I don't know, but they would have had roughly the same experience.